When someone we care about loses a loved one, it’s hard to know what to say. You may want to help but worry you’ll say the wrong thing. That’s why so many people search for guidance on what to say to someone who has lost someone. This article offers kind, thoughtful examples and tips—so you can speak from the heart and be truly supportive when it matters most.
Keep It Simple and Sincere
Grief is painful and confusing. The best thing you can do is speak simply and honestly.
You can say:
- “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
- “I’m here for you.”
- “I don’t know what to say, but I care about you.”
💬 These phrases might seem small, but they can bring great comfort.
🛑 Avoid saying:
- “At least they’re not suffering.”
- “Everything happens for a reason.”
- “They wouldn’t want you to be sad.”
Even if well-meaning, these can feel dismissive or hurtful.
Acknowledge Their Pain Without Trying to Fix It
You can’t take away someone’s grief—but you can stand beside them in it. Let them feel whatever they’re feeling.
Say this:
- “It’s okay to cry or be quiet or feel angry.”
- “You don’t have to be strong right now.”
- “There’s no right or wrong way to grieve.”
Offering emotional permission helps them feel safe and supported.
Offer Specific Support
Instead of saying “let me know if you need anything,” give clear offers of help.
Try saying:
- “Can I bring you food this week?”
- “I’m free this weekend—want company or a quiet walk?”
- “I’ll check in again next week, but no pressure to respond.”
🎯 Be present without expecting anything in return.
Share a Memory (If It Feels Right)
If you knew the person who passed away, sharing a small memory can be healing.
Examples:
- “I’ll always remember their warm smile—it lit up every room.”
- “They made the best jokes. I still laugh thinking about them.”
- “They were so kind to me—I’ll never forget that.”
❤️ These moments remind the grieving person that their loved one mattered to others too.
Keep Checking In—Even Weeks Later
Grief doesn’t end after the funeral. In fact, many people feel forgotten as time passes.
Things to say later:
- “I was thinking of you today and just wanted to check in.”
- “I know the world keeps moving, but I haven’t forgotten your loss.”
- “It’s been a month—how are you holding up?”
💌 A kind message later on means more than you might realize.
Final Thoughts
If you’re wondering what to say to someone who has lost someone, remember that love, presence, and patience are more powerful than perfect words. Speak from the heart. Be gentle. And let them know they’re not alone. Even a short message can bring warmth during a time of deep sorrow.